Stop Asking If You're an Alcoholic. Ask This Instead
Important Note: If you're drinking heavily every day or experience withdrawal symptoms, please speak with a healthcare provider before making changes. This advice, based on my own personal experience, is for people questioning their relationship with alcohol, not for managing physical dependence.
Have you ever woken up on a Sunday morning, head pounding, replaying the night before and asking yourself, "Am I an alcoholic?" I spent years trapped in that question, and it got me absolutely nowhere. In this episode, I'm sharing the one question that changed everything about my relationship with alcohol, and why starting your Dry January preparation NOW (not on 1 January) is the key to actually making it stick.
The Question That Changes Everything When You're Questioning Your Relationship With Alcohol
Three years ago, I was a LegalTech Programme Manager by day and a party girl by night. My drinking wasn't fun anymore, it was dark. I kept asking myself if I was an alcoholic, but that question only led to shame and confusion. Then I read one line in a book called "Not Drinking Tonight" that shifted my entire perspective: "Would your life be happier without alcohol?"
The answer was stupidly obvious. Of course my life would be happier without alcohol. This wasn't about labels or hitting rock bottom, this was about choice. But here's what nobody tells you: I read that question in December and didn't quit drinking until March. Those three months of living with the cognitive dissonance? That's where the real transformation happened.
Why Dry January Preparation Starts 77 Days Before January
If you're thinking about trying Dry January or rethinking your relationship with drinking, the absolute worst thing you can do is wait until 1 January to start the work. Real change isn't a light switch, it's a dimmer you adjust gradually.
I'm sharing the exact observation strategies I used during those three months: noticing when you reach for a drink and why, identifying the gap between your actions and your values, and paying attention to your "never again" moments without judgement. This isn't about willpower, it's about self-knowledge. By the time January arrives, you won't be starting from scratch.
What to Actually Expect When You Quit Drinking (The Messy Middle Nobody Mentions)
The early days of an alcohol-free lifestyle won't be magical. Your brain needs time to reset its dopamine levels, so everything feels "meh" for a while. Weeks two and three are often the hardest. But then? You start noticing beauty in mundane moments, a quieter inner voice, better sleep, and sharper thinking. Some people discover sobriety feels like relief, like coming home to yourself.
Three Key Takeaways
1️⃣ Ask the right question: Stop asking "Am I an alcoholic?" and start asking "Would my life be happier without alcohol?" This shifts from shame to choice and opens up real change.
2️⃣ Start observing now: Use the 77 days before January to watch your patterns without judgement. Notice when you drink, what triggers the urge, and the gap between your actions and values. This internal work makes change inevitable, not forced.
3️⃣ Expect the messy middle: The transformation doesn't happen when you quit, it happens in the months of quiet observation beforehand. Be patient with your brain's reset period and trust that clarity comes.
Resources Mentioned
- "Not Drinking Tonight" by Amanda E. White - The book that introduced me to the life-changing question about happiness and alcohol
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